Tuesday, April 27, 2010


You know, I find myself walking through the days, humming a happy little tune, not worried, not looking for trouble, just happy to be on this ride. Sort of like the village idiot, not good for much other than the entertainment of others, and the then the bottom drops out. Sort of like Mr. Toads Wild Ride. Or a combination of It's A Small World (without all the singing and dancing little dolls) and the Matterhorn.

Yes, my life has a Disney Theme...it's a Mickey Mouse kind of life...

Anyway, imagine the villiage idiot walking along, happy, humming and smiling, and she walks right into a big hole. OOF! Who put THAT there??? And then I begin to claw and dig my way out, looking for the spring breezes and sunshine, fluffy white clouds and unicorns. The staple of my happy little existence.

Right now, though, I'm in a hole. It's dark and dank and lonely here. I can see the light but it seems a long way off.

On Friday, April 23, Mike's mother passed away. In the end, her passing was truly a blessing, for she is home and she is free of pain. The hurt and sadness of the ones left behind is what affects us. Mike is handling it very well, he'd come to terms and made peace with the inevitibility of her passing. His siblings are taking it harder.

Saturday morning, we made a mad dash across the state to Seattle to get Mike to the airport. He began his journey just after 1 pm. He didn't arrive in Virginia until Sunday after mid-night. Here's a tip: if you are flying on a buddy pass for the airline, don't expect to get a seat, especially if there is bad weather ANYWHERE or if there are cancellations.

Since Mike left, I have been moping around the house, going through the motions, seeing all kind of chores needed done but having absolutely NO motivation to get them done.

Also, after getting pitched off Squirrel last week, I've been sore. Most of it is gone now, except for the bruising, but there lingers a pain in my stomach muscle. It is sharp and pointed, and really only hurt when I sneeze or try to use that muscle to sit up or adjust. Hernia??? Or just weak stomach muscles??

Anyway, it's overcast and rainy, which totally suits my mood. It's so much easier to sit and do nothing when the weather is crappy! Mike is coming home a week from today. Hopefully then, I'll be out of this hole and back in the sunshine...


Horse Filled Days said...

I think we all have days (or weeks) like that, I know I do. Just take a few days to do nothing, just relax, and take some time for yourself. I know here on our farm, sometimes there is so much to do, it can seem overwhelming, and I don't even know where to start! Then it seems like you can't get motivated and get anything accomplished.

Sorry to here about Mike's mother, but it sounds like he will be OK with time. Hope he has a safe trip back home to you, and I hope things brighten up for you soon... :)


Anonymous said...

Take a few days off...physically AND mentally. Everyone needs a mental health day every so often...chores are never ending and what you didn't do will always be there to pick up where you left off. As for your pain, it may take a while to heal. I fell off my horse once and although I landed on my forearm and thigh in a soft, muddy arena, my rib area on that side hurt so bad a few days later that I couldn't take a deep breath or stand up without flinching...it took about 4-5 weeks to stop hurting. But of course I still rode a few times a week. That was my therapy.
Here's hoping the sunshine and rainbows comes back your way soon!

Nikker said...

You and your hubby will be in our thoughts and prayers. I know from experience its not an easy row to hoe.