Sunday, August 3, 2008

I can't do it....

I just can't!

I got so attached to Joy! I spend the last couple months working with her and handling her, trying so hard to help her.

Cathy offered to have someone else come and pick up Joy and take her to be euthed, so I would be spared the heartbreak. I probably COULD if I had to, but I jumped on the offer to let someone else who wasn't emotionally attached be with her in her final moments.

I feel like I let Joy down. I feel like I let Cathy down. In my arrogance, I thought I could bring this mare to my home, feed her, give her supplements, and she'd be all fixed up and ready to go back to Cathy by the end of August. NO PROBLEM.

There is SO MUCH still wrong with this poor used up and tossed away mare, that I don't have to knowledge nor resources to fix. I am humbled by this experience and though I'm saddened, I'm ready for the next project. I couldn't help this one, maybe I can help another one.

So, sometime this week, Shawna Byington of SOSEquines is going to come pick Joy up and take her to be put to sleep.

As soon as Shawna calls me, Joy will get a special treat of apples and carrots. A final goodbye.


fuglyhorseoftheday said...

Now, stop it. It's not that you don't have the knowledge to fix her, it's that there's too much wrong TO fix. Any vet will tell you that they, routinely, encounter situations like this - where even with all of their training, there is nothing more they can do. Joy has had a wonderful summer with you, and honestly I am not sure she has EVER received such good care in her life. Certainly not this much love and affection.

There will come a time when nobody can fix us, either. It's just the cycle of life. I wish they all made it to 35, but just like people, not everybody gets that long. The important thing is that she has received proper care and that she will NEVER make that trailer ride to Mexico like so many of the horses she ran against.

Karen V said...

Thank you...That means a lot!

You never you? I looved at the time stamp. I was snoring like a hog while you were still up.

ORSunshine said...


Cathy is right. And, it takes a special kind of person to take in and care for an animal with special needs to begin with. It takes just as special of a person to reconize that they can't emotionally go through with euthanasia. It's better to recognize that you can't than try and be a total wreck, which would just get communicated to Joy. Let her last memories of you be of love. I mean, what more could a horse ask for than to be loved and cared for?

There comes a time when we all must say goodbye. When we quiet our minds and listen to our hearts, we know that we'll be able to hear our pets tell us when it's time to say goodbye.

hope4more said...

You did everything you could for her, she probably had the nicest summer of her life like Cathy said. Sometimes we have to let go for their sake and ours. Give her a hug and carrot from me and the boys.