Comedy Relief

Let's go back in time, ten years, when my 12 year old son got his first BB Gun...

My husband had set up a target on the end of the shed and had just finished showing Josh how to handle a weapon. He said "Handle EVERY weapon as if it could kill someone and you'll never have an accident. Point the muzzle at the ground, never in even the general direction of another person."

They were having trouble with this particular BB gun. Apparently it had a safety feature built in where if you pumped it up, but didn't fire right away, the air pressure would bleed off and the BB would just roll out the end of the muzzle. Safety feature, right?

Well, they still hadn't figured this out, since the directions and safety information was still in the box in the kitchen.

I walked out to see how things were going. I was standing just in front of the doghouse, which was a custom built, solid monstrosity made Mike and my brother-in-law. Mike turned to see what I was doing and sighted down the barrel in my direction.

Of course me being me, AND knowing what he was doing A) wasn't safe, and B) a contradiction to what he was SUPPOSED to be teaching my son, I started squawking like an old wet hen.

Mike, used to thinking that he was smarter than me(mind you, he's well beyond that thought now), pulled the trigger, fully expecting the BB to A) roll out the muzzle and drop onto the ground, or B) embed itself in the front of the doghouse (which he SWEARS to this day is what he was aiming at).

Instead, the BB ricocheted off the front of the doghouse and hit me in the meaty part of my butt cheek, instantly A) eliciting a screech from me, and B) raising a HUGE welt on my butt.

My husband, retired from the Marine Corps (trained killer and that crap), handed the gun to the 12 yr old boy, said "Lesson over for today. Don't ever do that.", turned on his heel, and took off running around the opposite side of the house.

His actions were pointless.. I knew where he slept...